Power!!

What is power? The ability to influence another person in terms of how they think, feel, or act. 

 I like this definition because it shows that we can influence or have power over another persons actions or the way they think by just saying something good or bad. 

Different kinds of powers are:
Coersive- to avoid punishment by spouse
Reward- to obtain rewards form spouse
Legitimate- spouse has the right to ask and you have the duty to comply
Referent- Identification with and admiration of, spouse and desire to please him or her
Informational- persuasion by spouse that what spouse wants is in your own best interest

 These are powers that husbands and wives uses over each other all the time without fully realizing that they are doing it because they are doing it all the time. When you realize you are doing it or it has been pointed out to you then you can change what you are doing. Changing is something that takes time and diligence and is not something you should try for a day and then give up on because it is so hard. I think it is a very important thing to find out how you are and to try and change and not use negative power over other people. Also, I think it is important to find out what and how you respond to what others do and to what you don't like. For example, I am the type of person that when I get mad I cannot think so I have to walk away for a while, cool down, think about it and then go back and talk nicely about it. Also, I noticed that I don't like it when people get mad at me and then walk away, it really helps me when they say, "Lerin, (explain why they can't talk to me right then, and then tell me something like) I need to think about this, I am going to take a walk and think and then we can talk." I think this is effective because then nothing is getting worked out through anger and they have explained to me why they can't talk at that moment, no matter what it may be.

Our brains, when they perceive danger, can't tell whether it is emotional danger or physical danger and we automatically assume it is physical danger and defend ourselves. This is why I think it is effective to stop and think about it before you act.

One thing I think is very very important to do with your significant other or with your friends is to talk about how to handle challenging situations just so they know and so you are more aware or become more aware of how you are. When that happens they are able to accept you and the ways you are and you are more able to be aware. You should also try and accept the other persons ways as well because once you acceptance is very valuable.